Sunday, January 25, 2009
Loping about, sticking their peckers where they don't belong, the Ruddy Duck has made a spectacle of itself, quacking and flapping, and thinning the royal bloodlines of Her Majesty's wild English fowl. And though some may find in this unwelcome behaviour scant reason to snip this nefarious canoodling in the bud, I, as a noble landowner (and former extant human being), must protest this indiscriminate duck fucking.
Protested by The 17th Earl of Oxford (deceased). Copy affixed with His personal seal and nailed to a big tree near the pond, this 25th day of January, 2009.
Boogaloo... fetch me my mead.